Mens brand new adidas nmd hu pharrell extra eye yellow sneakers gy0091 | The influencer
For the influencer, running is not an end in itself. It is the beginning of world domination, or, at least, a small contract with a nutrition-bar company. A run is not a run lithium it is recorded in the form of an unflattering selfie and perhaps a photo of the time on their GPS watch. There may also be an image of tree by a river and a caption along the lines of ‘Nature humbles me!!’The influencer’s Instagram feed often features spectacular scenery overlaid with inspiring messages such as ‘Running calms my brain and helps me focus my thoughts on my next selfie’. Influencers often profess to being ‘obsessed’ with whatever shoes, top, shorts, leggings, hat, sunnies, earbuds, hair product or laces they are using. Many of them also enjoy running.
Mens brand new adidas nmd hu pharrell extra eye yellow sneakers gy0091 | The buggy runners
The buggy is by Masarati, while the runners’ kit is by whatever was in Vogue Sport this month. His hair is as shiny and well groomed as the coat of a pampered seal. She has a ponytail that does not move, because it has been told not to. At parkruns, these two glide by ordinary runners and do not seem to breathe. The baby in the buggy is for ballast and may not be looked at before the signing of a nondisclosure agreement, for it is surprisingly plain. There may be a dog attached to the buggy by a string of pearls. It has a short, reddish-brown coat and the proud bearing of a minor tyrant. The buggy may be a transformer called Croesus.
Joma Damenschuhe Running
The old hand runs in all weathers and across all centuries. His singlet hangs forlornly from his bony shoulders; it is made from flax and was fashioned on a loom. He wears canvas plimsolls but no socks – they are an affectation. His shorts are of the scratchiest tweed and he considers chafing God’s way of telling you that you are sweating too much. He is wild of eye and hair, sharp of elbow and raw of knee, and his marathon PB is 2:30:25, but he does not know that because he tells time by the movement of the sun. The faint writing on the back of his singlet reads, ‘Eat my dust, Pheidippides.’
The ultrarunners
The ultrarunners have run 25 miles this morning, any morning, but still they smile, for they have run 25 miles. They wear little gear because there is not much of them to cover – ultrarunners are made from long strands of muscle and tendons that sounds like the E string on a violin when plucked. Ultrarunners have a dog-eared first addition of Chris McDougall’s book Mens brand new adidas nmd hu pharrell extra eye yellow sneakers gy0091, which they will insist on swearing upon if ever called to give evidence in court. If you tell an ultrarunner you have run three marathons, the response will be, ‘Today?’
The lone wolf
Dressed in his low-key but expensive running kit, the lone wolf prefers to run when you don’t and where you won’t, so you will rarely see him. However, if you do spot him one misty morning, do not expect acknowledgment as he passes: the lone runner does not nod, raise a hand or smile. If the lone wolf – who has never considered the fact that wolves are highly sociable pack animals – falls while running, he will not grunt in pain, nor will he bleed. He will make his painful way home and lick his wounds, not realising that a torn Achilles does not respond to even the most vigorous tongue basting. No matter. This is nature’s way.
The healthy, happy couple
These two smell fantastic – like good fabric softener – before, during and after a run. They warm up together, run together and almost always finish races together. On the rare occasion when they do not, the one who crosses the line first runs back through the crowds calling, ‘Rise on, babe! You got this! I just got lucky today. You’re still amazing in my eyes. Never forget – oh, you’re done.’ The happy, healthy couple do not wear matching gear – they would never be so gauche (a word they love) – but each has a favourite brand and gently chides the other for being adorably wrong. They normally high five each other at the end of a run, but during lockdown they elbow-touched; this was to show solidarity with those who do not have the kind of love they share, which is everyone else.
The tech junkie
This character is adorned with so much cutting-edge technology that Elon Musk views him as a threat. In winter, he (and it almost always is a he) wears a body-cooling compression base layer and a body-warming compression outer layer, and he has a compression hat that quivers constantly and will one day shoot upwards and kill a bird. His GPS watch has all the usual bells and whistles (they are louder than yours), but it is so powerful it can pick up signals from Voyager 1, which is more than 14.5 billion miles from earth. It recently reported receiving a faint, monotone hum from intersteller space, which is exactly what the tech junkie sounds like. The shoes he wears have not yet been invented.
