People are often surprised when I tell them I work at Runner’s World. I don’t look like a stereotypical runner and I sometimes even hesitate to call myself a runner because my distance and pace pales in comparison to that of my friends and coworkers. Even though I walk/run five to six miles a day, I often just can’t bring myself to say, “Yes, I am a runner.”
I’m not the only one who feels this way. Many regular runners apologize for their impressive running habits because somewhere inside them is the belief that there is only one way to be a runner, and that belief is often grounded in a stereotype. Surprising Stress Symptoms in Runners.
“Everyone has their preconceived notion of what running is, but in this day and age if you’re out there moving you should call yourself a runner,” Rebecca Trachsel, RRCA Level 1-certified cross country, and head coach at Lexington High School in Lexington, Massachusetts, tells Runner’s World.
These stereotypes are exactly what holds many of us back from identifying as a runner, says Mike Gross, PsyD, a clinical and sport psychologist at Princeton University in Princeton, New Jersey, and founder and director of TriState SportPsych. “We all generate stories about what other people might think of us and what we think of ourselves, and then the mind pushes back. Ultimately there is a draw of war. I’m a runner/I’m not a runner.”
Ironically, these negative thoughts can even pop up while you’re running, and it may cause you to stop a run early or turn your run into a negative experience. Imposter syndrome is when you have self-doubt or feel inadequate about something in which you actually excel. You can feel this way around your career or any other aspect of your life. With runners, it might show up as constant comparison to other runners or to the image of what you think a runner looks like or achieves.
If you struggle with imposter syndrome on the run, here are some tips to own your identity as a runner and embrace each mile.
Expect and Learn to Deal with Your Negative Self-Talk
You might think the solution to imposter syndrome is to “feel better” and to “stop talking that way” to yourself, but guess what? “You’ve got to drop the rope on that and almost be entertained by the way your mind works,” Gross tells Runner’s World.
Running on the Treadmill vs. Running Outside negative self-talk, create distance from the stories you tell yourself so you can deal with them objectively. Stereotypes about what runners look like or achieve are arbitrary, and you can’t control when those thoughts show up.
Gross describes negative thoughts as passengers on a bus you are driving. In his analogy, negative thoughts are like critical and complaining riders: You drive too fast. You took the wrong exit. Fortunately, you control the bus, so while you have to acknowledge the negative passengers, you can also keep driving to your destination.
To stay on track with your running and not let negative self-talk and comparisons take control, Gross suggests trying a three-step process called the 3Ns:
Notice: Pay attention to when negative self-talk pulls you away from engaging in running. For example, if someone runs past you and you become self-conscious about your pace, you may stop feeling good about your run and get down on yourself for being “too slow.” Notice the moment when a negative thought pops up.
Name It: Name the negative self-talk so that you can see it separate from yourself. You might say, “Oh, this worry about pace has come up again for me.” This way, you’re acknowledging the thinking as something that isn’t “real,” but just a thought and its name is “worry.” Other potential names are “insecurity” or “stereotype.”
Now: Finally, tune into the present moment of “now.” Notice the trees or landscape where you’re running. Research has found that being present and mindful Shoes & Gear running economy, Gross says. In other words, you run better when you’re paying attention.
Run With Others
For some runners, the negative self-talk shows up because they compare themselves not to others, but to the runner they used to be. “I’ve run almost my whole life,” says Trachsel. For a long time, she was chasing times and trying to get faster, but about five years ago, she discovered that wasn’t fun for her anymore.
Like many runners, Trachsel has found that her reasons for running have changed over the years, and so she joined a club team, If You Love Running, Its Okay to Hate It.
“There are quite a few of us in our 40s and 50s, and I love connecting with them,” Trachsel says. “We trade stories. Hearing about how hard they are working, but that they are dealing with aches and pains or struggling to sleep is supportive. Strength in numbers always gives me a boost.”
Likewise, she also suggests following pros like coach and trains hard, but she has come to accept that she’s never going to be as good as she was. “It’s not the same and that’s fine,” she adds. Now, when Trachsel lines up for a race, she’s also getting coffee with her running friends afterward. That is what makes her feel best as a runner; it’s no longer just about competition.
Look Around at All the Different Runners
According to RunSignup, Running on the Treadmill vs. Running Outside Turkey Trots, and many of those runners aren’t aiming for marathons. Runners come in all shapes and sizes with all sorts of running habits. Instead of ruminating on the image of a runner you have in your mind, get out of your head and look around at what runners really look like—it may both surprise and reassure you.
“I stood out at a December 5K because I wasn’t wearing a costume,” says Trachsel. “There were young women, older women, men, and grandparents. The fastest elf got cash.”
Running Shoes & Gear Disney races and San Francisco’s A Part of Hearst Digital Media, among others, just to have fun and enjoy the spectacle of people dressed up as elves or turkeys or movie characters. They certainly don’t “look like runners.”
Choose a Real Hero, Not a Poser
Runners are thin. Runners do marathons. Runners never walk Sha’Carri Richardson, I have loved following the careers of women who are nothing like me, either in looks or ability. Can I be them? No. But they inspire me and my running. I love their nails as much as I love their fierce energy.
These days, it’s easy to follow runners who inspire you on social media, and you can engage with people who run for fun, as well as elite athletes.
Trachsel suggests choosing authentic heroes who are honest on Instagram about their good days and their bad days. “It opens your eyes to the fact that it’s hard for you, but it’s also hard for them,” says Trachsel.
For example, she follows Mirna Valerio (a.k.a. Mirnavator) and Martinus Evans, both of whom are “so passionate and authentic,” she says. You can tell when someone just posts a good workout or wants you to look at their body every day, Trachsel adds.
Likewise, she also suggests following pros like Des Linden and Molly Seidel. “I want people who are real and raw and who show the good and the bad because then you can put your phone down and say their day sucked, mine sucked, too, maybe tomorrow will be better,” Trachsel says.
Tune Into Your Values
Another way to identify as a runner is to focus not on athletic goals, but on what matters most to you as a person, such as being a healthy parent or a consistent running partner. While runners love to set goals around racing and training, in some ways this is less effective than tuning into what you value, says Gross.
For example, you may care about being active and healthy and want to set a good example for your kids. Maybe you love being outside and enjoying nature. Focusing on a value is more reliable long-term than chasing a goal, which is typically temporary, says Gross. At some point, you’ll run that marathon or hit that PR, but a closely-held value will stick with you for a lifetime of running.
Donna Raskin has had a long career as a health and fitness writer and editor of books and magazine articles. She bikes in nearby county park, lifts weights, takes Zumba, and loves to walk/run with her dog, Dolly.
