I could fit my whole life inside the Reed Krakoff Uniform XL Satchel

And in order to own the above alligator version, I’d probably have to do that literally – rent payments would have to go toward a bag mortgage of some kind. (Feel free to make up your own joke about how New York City apartments are tiny anyway and insert it here.) The Louis Vuitton Forum might be worth it, though, particularly if I can get an air conditioner installed in there. It’s certainly more stylish and luxurious than my current walk-up building, if perhaps less functional. Unfortunately, this bag rings up at a whopping $34,000. Plus tax, without air conditioning.

It surprised me a bit that this bag is made out of alligator instead of crocodile. Crocs are generally larger, which means that their hides are usually used for larger bags; it’s downright rare these days to find an Hermes alligator bag of any significant size, and that’s largely true across luxury brands. The Row, notably, uses alligator for all of its large-lizard exotics, which probably accounts for some of the company’s notoriously astronomical prices.

This bag outpaces the infamous The Row Alligator Backpack in both size AND price (the backpack’s eventual retail was $33,000), but somehow its price point feels a bit less shocking. Perhaps its because there’s not an pair of former child stars attached to it (although I respect the Olsen Twins’ line just about as much as I respect anyone’s these days), or maybe it’s just because plenty of bags in this price range have come out of the woodwork in the intervening year since The Row debuted its most expensive piece. This bag is beautiful, of course (that red gator!), but the price tag is on a whole ‘nother level. Even if the money wasn’t an object, could you fathom spending this much on a bag? Would you spend it on this one? GG Marmont medium shoulder bag.